Halfway Home, Halfway In

It’s been just over four and a half months since I arrived here in Rabat. And in exactly four and a half months, I’ll be back in Canada. It feels like forever ago since I arrived here. Life here in Morocco has become normal and dare I say it Morocco almost feels like home. Almost.

I’ve been putting off writing this post for a couple weeks now. It’s not that I’ve been busy or lazy, it’s that I honestly don’t know how to reflect on my experience.

Google says that the first thing to do when trying to reflect on something is to find a place of comfort and somewhere relaxing. I plugged in some Louis Armstrong in a cafe. Check.

Next, it says to think back to the beginning of the experience and relive it mentally. Thinking back to when I first arrived is difficult because it felt like forever ago. As I play back saying goodbye to my mum and sister at 5am, nearly missing our first flight out of Calgary, various lounges and layovers, cursing Air France over and over, and finally arriving in Rabat without any luggage, it’s like looking at it from afar. The person arriving in Rabat tired, sweaty, and irritated doesn’t seem like me, but I don’t know why.

The first few weeks of settling in flew by. Being forced to adapt to a new country, new city, and new culture were difficult, but happened. It was in this time, between buying vegetables in the souk, going to the beach often, starting up school, and settling into a routine, that I felt like I grew and changed most.

As the days have turned into weeks and into months I found a routine, made amazing friends, but the excitement and novelty of Morocco became a sense of normalcy and fitting in. Things I used to find abnormal or scary about Morocco, simple things like the thrill of eating street food without knowing what was in it or crossing a busy street, just became normal for me.

To combat this, I decided to start adventuring more and changed up my routine. I took a major trip through Spain on my own (see my other blogposts about how scary and amazing that was) which really changed things up. However coming back from Spain to Rabat felt weird. On the one hand, it felt like being home from a very long vacation (which it was), but on the other hand it felt like everything was different. For the first time ever, I felt like I could understand darija when people would speak it to me or around me. I felt very comfortable wandering through the medina streets with Sam, it was like a new sense of confidence. I felt like I had hit a new stride.

I also moved to a new flat (pictures to follow) with a new flatmate, which has been amazing! School has started up again. Going back to school after almost six weeks off(!!) was a weird feeling. It was like coming back after summer vacation in high school. On the one hand it’s so nice to see everyone again, but on the other, it was hard to get back into the routine of doing work and readings and such. But I’m liking most of my courses and working through them. From here until the end of the semester, time will just fly by and before I know it, it’ll almost be time to go home.

I keep getting asked if I’m ready to go home. It’s a fair question, one which I ask myself almost daily. If today was the day I was to leave, would I be emotionally ready to go? And honestly I’m not. I really am not and I don’t know when and if I will be. Do I miss things from home? Of course. I miss my friends, family, Tim Horton’s, how things work in Canada, etc. But am I ready to leave Morocco? Not yet.

I feel as though the next four and a half odd months will speed by, but will hopefully will be full of even more excitement than the last half!

“May the best of your today’s the worst of your tomorrows”