Morocco and Identity

Coming to Morocco as a brown guy with a muslim name who has lived his whole life as a Canadian, I’ve had to confront and deal with a small identity crisis- that is how do I call myself.

In my family growing up and my muslim friends, I’ve always been called KKKhalid with a hard K sound and an A like when the dentist asks you to open your mouth wide- aaa. However this name has always been hard for the average Canadian person to pronounce so I altered/ it was altered by others as a child to Khaaalid (rhymes with salad) as most people in Canada know me. In fact, even when I think of myself, I see myself more as Khaaalid (rhyming with salad) than KKKhalid (as my family calls me). Just out of habit, I introduce myself as the former rather than the latter.

This has continued in Morocco where I subconsciously introduce myself as Khalid (salad) to people who are Muslim just because it’s how I’ve grown up. However this shifts because the “official” Muslim pronounciation of my name emphasizes the H so it sounds like kHalid (pronouced like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sW4nt5_LV2I ). This is an added twist because 1: I’ve never been called this before, even by my family, and 2: because people assume that this is the way I pronounce it normally/ how it ‘ought’ be pronounced.

I don’t know if you’ve ever tried to change your name (for fun or not) but it changes the way you see yourself. In a sense, I see my identity as threefold; when I am Khalid (salad) I see myself as more Canadian and the way I am in university in Canada; as Khaaalid I see myself more as a child, the way I grew up; and as KHalid I see myself as more Muslim and more local- giving me a sense of belonging in Morocco. I feel like the way I act and the way I ‘ought’ to act is different based on how I choose to call myself and how others call me at that time.

Coming to Morocco is the first time I have had to really confront my own identity. People of ‘other’ (non-local) backgrounds often change their names to try and fit in with the culture, but this, I believe, is detrimental because it imposes a social norm that you should fit in or be marginalized. When we choose to change our names to fit in (Yusuf to Joe/Joseph, Morjane to Morgan, Sadruddin to Sam etc.) we lose our original identity and the beauty and love which our parents put in to choose that name.

I believe our names, and how they were given to us matter because they come from a unique background and often have a story behind them. My name comes from an African- Indian Muslim tradition, not a Canadian or Middle Eastern one. As such, my name is Khalid (with a hard K) and I will go introduce myself as it going forward. It is thanks to Morocco that I was forced to confront my own identity and was able to make this decision.

For more on why how you call yourself matters, here’s a really good article: http://www.financialpost.com/careers/Your+name+part+your+identity/4677512/story.html

And, as usual, this post would not be complete without a selfie! Here’s one of me with sheep. These are the only sheep I’ve seen alive since Eid (the holiday where people sacrifice a sheep because Prophet Abraham was told by God to sacrifice his son, but at the last moment his son was changed out for a sheep)